FINDING YOURSELF/CREATING YOURSELF

 

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. - George Bernard Shaw

One crisp Autumn morning many years ago, I was sitting in a coffee shop in New York City, thoroughly enjoying a latte and a croissant with marmalade. I was a wet-behind-the-ears home furnishings buyer, just beginning a career in interior design, and thrilled to be in the Big Apple. But on that day, I was surrounded by seemingly disgruntled people dressed in gloomy business attire, standing in line at the counter, impatiently waiting for their coffee so they could hurry out the door to...wherever...  

There was a woman sitting at the table next to mine, sipping an espresso and reading a French newspaper. She was probably in her sixties, slim, and attractive, wearing black cat eye reading glasses, a beautifully cut white silk blouse, black trousers and black pumps. Her Burberry trench coat was draped over the other chair. On the table was an exquisite tan leather portfolio. Her hair was styled in a tousled chin length bob; nails flawlessly manicured; makeup minimal, but definitely there. She was the epitome of simplistic elegance; ease tempered with discipline; and she appeared to be having a perfectly fine morning. 

She glanced up from her newspaper, and in a bold move for a Southern girl from Memphis, I remarked that I admired her style. She smiled, thanked me, and asked if I would care to join her. She was French, lived in Paris, but was in NYC for business. 

She was intelligent, witty, and friendly, but with a reserved air of mystery. We chatted a while, about Paris, New York, travel in general, food, fashion, and interior design. Also a designer, she was on her way to a meeting with a new client.

 

As we left the coffee shop to go our separate ways, she said, "You are a delightful young lady with a bright future ahead of you. Don't ever abandon that adventurous spirit and zest for life!" "I don't know," I said, warily noting my mediocre style compared to her refined, Parisian chic. "Hopefully one day I will find myself and be as cool as you." She replied with a wink, "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."